By Alan Stucky

Fear of being falsely accused of sexual misconduct or abuse can cause significant pause for pastors when hearing victims’ stories of abuse, sexual or otherwise, particularly when the accusations are leveled against church leaders. This fear of false accusations leads to the thought, “Well, maybe the story isn’t true.”

As I did some self-reflection to examine where this fear comes from, I began to wonder if it was based in reality or not. How often do people actually falsely accuse someone of abuse?

By Anna Groff, Executive Director

My Dove’s Nest colleagues and I sat in a cramped room at the Office of Children and Family Services of Orleans County in New York State.

We were discussing the placement of “English” (non-Plain) children in “Plain” (Amish and Old Order Mennonite) communities.

One of the social service workers asked, “I sometimes wonder, why do these conservative families want to foster and adopt children? It’s a lot of work for anyone!”

By Jeanette Harder, Dove's Nest Cofounder and Board President

As I was eagerly anticipating my return trip to New York, my friends asked if I would be visiting different Amish and Old Order Mennonite communities this time. They seemed puzzled by my response, “No, I want to keep building relationships with the families I got to know last summer.”

Does spanking teach children good behavior? If done correctly, it can be an effective form of discipline, right? And it’s not harmful?

Wrong to all three.

Contrary to what many believe or want to believe, punishment does not teach right behavior nor does it build relationship with us as parents. “Punishment” isn’t as effective as “discipline.” 

By Melissa Hofstetter

I finished my doctoral studies in psychology at the same time that I completed my divinity training in seminary, and doing these two programs concurrently lent itself to interesting observations and wonderful conversations between the two disciplines of wholeness and healing.

By Nancy Kauffmann 

I appreciated the reflection on When Abusers Have Done a Lot of Good by Alan Stucky. He talks about the trap we can so easily fall into when the person who has abused is someone who has been known “to do so much good work.”  No one wants to undo that good work, so we might choose to be silent. He ended with the following reminders:

By Alan Stucky 

The thoughts in this article stem from Marissa Buck’s article on the website Our Stories Untold. Marissa’s sister Lauren wrote an article about her experience of an abusive relationship with Luke Hartman. Marissa's article mostly addresses Lindale Mennonite Church and their response. Reading Marissa’s article will help set the stage for what follows. 

Children need love, and the church is a wonderful place to show that love. Adults can appropriately express this through physical touch, such as hugging, a pat on the back, an arm around the shoulder, or holding an infant or toddler. 

Here are some guidelines for appropriate touch that your church might consider using in your child protection policy, nursery guidelines, or in a Sunday school discussion about abuse prevention: